A new Beginning

As far back as I can remember people would ask me what I wanted to do. Or, what’s your plan? Anyone who has gone to school for the arts has gotten some version of this question. It’ infuriating. What do you think? I went to drama school to be an accountant? The unfortunate, though true, subtext of this question is, how are you going to live? As an artist you actually do need to be an accountant, and a business person, and a doctor, and a lawyer. Everything our parents wished we went to school for is all part of our actual occupation. Unless you're one of the fortunate ones who “make it”. Then you have people for all those other jobs that constitute being an adult.

Remember when “making it” was just the idea that you would be able to support yourself with your art? I remember saying that thinking I was setting low expectations. Surely I’ll be able to accomplish that and then anything else would be just gravy. Haha.

I’ve recently come to the realization that I am not one of the fortunate ones. It just didn’t work out for me. I worked hard, I had ability, but I never “made it”. It’s not my fault, it’s nobody’s fault. It just is. But that’s not enough for me. It can’t be the end. I’ll never give anyone the satisfaction of saying I told you so. I’m too stubborn.